Has The Tide Turned?

Yes I think it has. Why? for many reasons.

I used to feel that any major change in lifestyle or thinking or whatever had to be at some poignant time. I used to think that the turning of the year was that time. I had at least three bites of the cherry: the New Year, The Chinese New Year, (my mother in law is Chinese), or the Celtic New Year, (Samhain). But I decided to make the changes on the 17 of February. The date had no significance, although now I guess it does.

What's changed? I have, or at least the process has started. The one thing that has dominated my life since childhood and has been perpetuated by events and physical factors was my lack of CONFIDENCE. I have started to address this, and almost instantaneously my life has changed. I used to shy away from people, get hot flushes when talking to a stranger, avoid eye contact with people. I'd dreaded even being served by a cashier.

I took my son up to Cardiff, Wales on wednesday to an Open Day at the university he hopes to go to. There were crowds of people, lectures, refreshments/socializing, usually my idea of a nightmare. I loved it, I made eye contact, I felt liberated. I even got a burger from Burger King and was not intimidated by the person who served me:¬)

So how is this possible? Well to be honest it helped having an issue with my appearence sorted out but also from confidence building self help books. Being a Libran I thrive on social contact and this has been closed to me for over eight years. I have felt a bit like King Theoden in Lord Of The Rings, really. I hope I am becoming the person I would have been without the crap childhood and all the angst that spawned. I really think I can achieve anything I put my mind to now.

The trip to Cardiff was eight hours there and back. The lorry drivers are nuts in that part of the country. I crossed the Seven Bridge into the Wales for the first time in 30 years. I was surprised just how much it has reinforced its own identity. All the signs are in Welsh, (with English subtitles and all its architecture has been revamped inside but retain the classical exteriors. Cardiff itself is very impressive. I was surprised just how much sculpture there is there. My son is very keen to get in to the university, especially now he has seen the new £26,000000 Optometry building. I'll do my best to help him.


sarah said…
At least you are able to talk about this 'stuff' unlike alot of english men who keep it all bottled up! Chin up.. best foot forward old boy...
Whats wrong with your appearance? it looks great from where I'm standing..
Chris.P said…
You're too kind:¬) I had an issue with my hair after a bit of a mishap. But a mere £15,000 put it right:¬)

I have allowed to let myself get out of condition, but I hope to get back in shape by the summer.