Where do I go from here?
...not sure exactly. But now the Red Riding hood brief is out of the way, and just five farm animal flash cards for the 31st , I have to start thinking about where I go next.
How was the deadline?
The last illustration commission was bordering on the excrutiating in the end. The deadline had already been extended from the Friday to the Monday and I still had five illo's to get finished. I told the design studio on Monday that I need another day. They told me I had to get them finished by Wednesday. I had loads to do. I still had to model some rabbits, so I hastily recycled a chicken into a bunny and photographed it in a few different poses :¬)
It took until 2am to get the last illustration finished. It didn't end up as I would have liked, but by that time I was getting desperate.
I was under pressure, but not quite to the point of losing it.
But overall was it enjoyable?
My only motivation was to please the people commissioning me... and the money. But in terms of creative satisfaction, it was factory work not Art.
So would I like to repeat the experience?
Nope! I don't think that even if the money was more reasonable, that I would countenance going through that again. I need more time for my work but Educational publishers don't often give you much notice for final artwork.
So what next?
I want to go with my heart and not be diverted by my head. My Tarot reading earlier this year talked about going with my heart and things would work out well.
I had plans to go all out with my illustration self promotion but my enthusiasm has been somewhat dented. This could change with the right next job, fee and timescale. But time is running out for me to make a mark for myself in whatever I choose to do.
What most interests me?
Sculpture, Celtic and Nordic mythology, Nature, Paganism, Cornish legends, Dance, Fantasy Art, the human form, animation, (the God like ability to create virtual life). Zac Spanner, (my picture book character).
Comments
I've been thinking a lot lately that I really must quit expecting to get much in the way of artistic enjoyment/satisfaction from the crazy commissioned jobs and make *sure* that I still alot time to work on some personal stuff as well that does provide it. Otherwise I might just go completely bonkers and end up so overdrawn and overextended in the creative dept. that it may burn me out indefinitely.
Why does my life always seem to come back to the 'B' word??? :-P
When my agent emailed me the finals date for the last job, I let out an involuntary ironic laugh. My first instict was that the deadline was unachievable. But you're in a corner. I don't know anyone who has walked away from a job they have submitted roughs for.
So I felt I had np choice but to do it. I maybe hoped they would be very flexible, but and extra couple of days was all that was on offer.
That is the scarey thing about this job. Everything is down to you, there's no hiding place.
I would definitely burn out if I had continuous jobs like this. Like you say commissioned work is the treadmill in artistic terms. But it does sap creative energy even if we have less expectations of its ability to fulfill us.
I don't feel I have tapped my potential yet, but it could prove inadequate;¬)